Hash Trash Run 828, Directions to Run 829

Run 828 was a mixed bag.  And by mixed bag we mean unpopular.   There were miscommunications, mismarkings, misleadings, missing hash marks, misnamings and a missing RA.  Paul demonstrated early leadership by finding the RA and leading him to the finish.  We look forward to running after him next week.

What the H-ll, ain't nothing that a few down downs can't fix.

Down Downs

FRB: Fart Smeller
DFL: Boston Creamed
Lost: Fluffer
Golden Shower: Goldmember
Misnaming: Semen
Half Iron Man: Wind Breaker
Virgin: Drinks Like a Girl
Missleading the Hash: OnOne (TastyKakes)
Rescuing the Lost: Paul
Arguing: Pig Woman

 

Directions to Run 829 - 3:00 pm on Saturday (1500 for the military folk)

Run 829  will  start  next to the Ramat Hasharon  Tennis Center (of the Kfar Hayarok Junction) .

From Tel Aviv-

1)North on Ayalon Rd.(20) , right  (East) on Rd  (5) to K.Hayarok Junct. then  Right again till 1^st Light  Left toward the Parking before the Courts.

2)North on Namir Rd, till Glilot Junct. right on Rd.(5) to K.Hayarok Junct. then  Right again till 1^st Light  Left toward the Parking before the Courts.

3)North-East on Rokach Blvd,/Bnei Efraim St, till the end. Left on Moshe Sne Rd.(Tzomet Hapil)- 4^th Light to the right towards the Tennis courts.

 

From Jerusalem-

North on Geha ,Rd.4 till Morasha Junct. Warning (middle exit) on Overpass to the West Rd. (5) till Kfar Hayarok Junct. And again middle exit to the left.

Then 1^st  light to the Left (opposite the Gas Station)  towards the Tennis Center.

 

From Haifa,

1)South on Namir Rd. (Derech Haifa) till Glilot Jnct.-Left on the Overpass on Rd.(5 ) to   K.Hayarok Junct. then  Right again till 1^st Light  Left toward the Parking before the Courts.

2) South  on Geha ,Rd.4 till Morasha Junct. West (right) Rd. (5) till Kfar Hayarok Junct. Middle exit(in bridge) to the left.

Then 1^st  light to the Left (opposite the Gas Station)  towards the Tennis Center.

 

Whoever understood the above must be a genius or  lost – ball Paul Tel-0547909034  (From the Scribe: I would have written "call" but the e-mail from Paul said "ball"  - Who am I to deconstruct the meaning?)

Hare Roster - Volunteer or be drafted!  Hare roster open until June!

13-Feb GraveRobber

20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Fart Smella
6-Mar BlingDong

13 Mar Quickie

20 Mar OnOne (TastyKakes), the Bachelorette Hash

27 Mar -???

3 Apr Deliverance

10 Apr Twin Peaks
17 Apr Captain Caveman

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 827, Directions to Runs 828

Run 827 -

It was marshy,
it was shiggy,
we got our feet wet (but not as wet as the beery shoes we would have had, if we had worn hiking boots as suggested!). 

In fact, if you like scrambling down poorly marked paths, knocking grass and trees out of the way, nimbly leaping from vaguely dry mud patch to really squishy mud patch - this was the hash for you.  The hash dogs had the most fun, Quickie at one point was seen being dragged by his dog through a mud patch on his rear end.  The hash scribe's own posterior bore the signs of a dog dragging incident. 

The second half was a bit duller, not that the Ranana mall isn't lovely...   Now, during the circle, the hashers noticed Quickie's dog making a giant pile of Sh-t next to the circle.  we all saw it, we smelled it, we admired it.  Paul however, missed the memo and found that his path to the finish went right through the brown mountain.  Nothing a beer can't fix though.

What's that lovely tinkly sound in the distance?  it's the new hash FRB bell!!!! Look for it around Fluffer's neck at the next hash.

Down Downs!

Hares - Semen, Windbreaker
FRB - Fluffer
Virgin - Tight Fit
Misnaming - OnOne (TastyKakes) (and some other people whose names I don't remember)
Returnees - Deliverance, Boston Creamed, Captain Caveman
Where's your kit? - Windbreaker
Give a Sh!t - Quickie, Foreplay
Sh!t Happens - Paul
Go Ride a bike! (and swim, and run) - Deliverance, Windbreaker

Directions to Run 828

Meet on the sea side of Opera Tower, the building is on Allenby and HaYarkon.  For the circle and for some parking selections, click here

Hare Roster - The Roster is open until June!  Please sign up for a slot, or I will draft you!

6-Feb Paul

13-Feb GraveRobber

20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Fart Smella
6-Mar BlingDong

13 Mar Quickie

20 Mar OnOne (TastyKakes), the Bachelorette Hash

27 Mar -???

3 Apr Deliverance

10 Apr Twin Peaks
17 Apr Captain Caveman

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash run 826, Directions to Run 827

Hash #826: Goldmember, This Is Your Life

 

The first hash under the reign of Hashtator and new RA Deliverance, despite her threats to leave at 3 p.m. sharp, got off to a late start.  Only five minutes, but still.. The group congregated in a parking lot with hare Goldmember leading us on a merry run near where she grew up in Kfar Saba.  Which, apparently, once upon a time was all farmland.  Desolate that the tree under which she was smooched for the first time was now surrounded by tall buildings, the hare led us on a trail of confusing and mostly-missed markings (at which point, we just gave up and followed her) through a moshav.  Literally.  As in, through the fields and past the fruit trees. Rebellious and tired of running through organic agrarian shiggy while accompanied by the sounds of goats, cows and a very confused rooster, the pack took fruit-stealing – errr, sampling – breaks well outside of holds, stopping en route to help themselves to oranges, strawberries and a cross between a pomelo and grapefruit which Porn Queen called "chadeques" and which sparked some unfortunate Haiti rambling on her part.  Unfortunately, none of her reminiscing conjured up any voodoo spells to move the damned hash along, since we were at a point which was NOT EVEN CLOSE to being the halfway, even though we had been running for EONS.  The halfway came at a house where Goldmember and a random tour guide proceeded to give us a history lesson on the nearby Yemenite Jewish village where she grew up (at which point, for the first time in Hash history, the pack actually begged to start singing).  "Old MacDonald Had a Hash" was sung (seriously), animal noises were made, and off we were (still ignoring the marks).  Random village denizens in headscarves glared at the shorts-wearers in the group as Goldmember led us on a detour past the house where she grew up, embraced distant cousins on the street and finally led us back to the start for the quickest down-downs in recent memory.  Dogs (welcome, Sheikh!) were abused, too many beers were poured and punishments created (or referenced from obscure Hash Parliamentary Procedure) to use up said beers.

Down Downs 

Hare: Goldmember

FRB: Fart Smella

DFL: unclear, but AmboHo drank one for the team

Late Cummers: Boston Creamed, Pig Woman

Returnee: AmboHo

What's My Name? There Will Be a Quiz: Goldmember, Croc Sucker, Semen

Shortcutting: Croc Sucker

Dog Abuse (a.k.a. SPCA no-fly list): Quickie and Foreplay

New Shoes (again.  Someone really is digging on the feet beer): Pig Woman

A Necklace Is Not a Regulation Hash Kit (but Nice Try): Porn Queen

Lids in the Circle: Deliverance and Semen

Beer Race (a brew is a terrible thing to waste): Deliverance and Fart Smella

Directions to Run 827

Meeting at 3:00 p.m. at the packing lot on the corner of Joseph Nevo St. and Jabotinsky St. in Herzalia. (behind the 7th Star's Mall). If you are coming from Tel-Aviv, continue on Ayalon North  (Rt 20) until the Herzalia exit. Get into the left lane. Turn Left at light, that is Sderot Shivat Hakochavim. Continue on that Rd. around 600 meters, and turn Left till the round-a bout. You will see the mall right in front of you. Go around the circle till JosephNevo St (2nd exit). Continue with rd - turn left again at end, and park at the far left end of the lot. If you have reached Jabotinsky st. you have gone too far.

Lost? Call your hare (Seman) - 054-440-6313

Special advice -- due to the rainy weather, the hare suggests you either: a. wear hiking or crappy boots OR b. bring an extra pair of shoes. Remember, you have been warned!!

Hare Roster - Sign up to set! The schedule is open through June!

30-Jan Porn Queen
6-Feb Paul

13-Feb GraveRobber

20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Fart Smella
6-Mar BlingDong

13 Mar Quickie

20 Mar OnOne (TastyKakes), the Bachelorette Hash

27 Mar -???

3 Apr Deliverance

10 Apr Twin Peaks

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

INVITACION A SUSCRIBIRSE GRATIS a ENVAPACK Revista Online

Estimado Lector:

Si usted trabaja en alguna de las siguientes sectores;

Industria Del Papel y Cartón
Industria Vidriera
Industria de Hojalata
Industria del Aluminio
Industrias de Alimentos
Industria del Plastico
Industria Farmaceutica
Industria Cosmetica
Industria Quimica
Industria del Empaque, Envase, Embalaje
Diseño Industrial y Gráfico
Publicidad

Lo invitamos a suscribirse GRATIS a la revista online www.envapack.com para lo cual solo tiene que ir a este enlace,  http://www.envapack.com/boletin/ escribir su email y confirmar. (Grupos Google ).

EnvaPack.Com es una publicacion semanal, una herramienta informativa para todos los profesionales en la industria. De gran aplicacion en el desarrollo de productos y su empaque envase y embalaje.

Cordial saludo,

Ivan H. Rodriguez B
Director

Hash Trash Run 825, Directions to Run 826

Run 825 - the F#ck off hash

 

 It was the last run for Border Bitch, Desperate Housewife, and Hash Hound Riley.  To pay their respects, Riley ran (yes ran) the entire hash.  Amidst urbanization, the pack found shiggy, ziggy and zaggy around bushes, under billboards, hopping on and off the sidewalks.  We discovered what the pack was made of when the group went off trail and only 4 people mustered the integrity to go back and make up the lost ground.  Shortcutters, you know who you are.

 

It was a half of memories, the hares proffered up some of the foulest licorish tasting ouzo the scribe has ever had the pleasure of tasting.   We sang something forgettable, so then it just felt right to do one last round of Father Abraham.  Now that Border Bitch is gone we can skip all the verses we want next time!! 

 

The hashers were eager to get back to the On On, and who needs hash marks when the hare will just tell you where to go!  But even with that kind of laxity there is no reason to skip a hold (we like holds).  Goldmember got prematurely excited and ran to the finish, blissfully ignoring the 15 people behind her screaming "ON BACK."

 

Down Downs

Hares: Floater & Fluffer

FRB: Fartsmella

DFL: Boston Creamed

Misnaming: Floater, Crocsucker, Pig Woman, OnOne (TastyKakes)

Premature Ejaculation: Goldmember

Returnees: Pig Woman, Porn Queen, In & Out, Windbreaker, Paul, Foreplay, Deliverance

Virgins: Levi, Brooke, Matthew, Agnes

Ball & Chain: Quickie

New Shoes: Porn Queen, Pig Woman

Hash Kit: Desperate Housewife

Hang up the Phone! Goldmember

 

Directions to Run 826  - 1500 on Saturday, January 16

 

The hash will be at Kefar Saba East junction, At the corner of Tchernichovski and Menachem Begin.
      From Herzlia cross route 2 toward Raanana, at Jerusalem st turn left, after three traffic lights turn right at Weizmann st. cross route 4. After second traffic lights turn right to the supermarket car park.
      From Tel Aviv, east on route 5 till exit to Raanana Kefar SAba, left under the flyover to route 4, turn right at exit Kafar Saba (hospital), go east all the way till major cross road of Tchernichovski and Bagin, I think about 7 traffic lights.  Turn right and immediately right again to the parking lot.

Lost?  So are we.  Call Goldmember   0522671796

 

Quiz Night Friday, Jan. 22
Start Time:  8:00 sharp
Host:  Dave and Linda Motley
25 Shalva Street, Herzliya Pituach

Directions from Tel Aviv:  Take the coastal road (highway 2) to the Herzliya/Kfar Shmaryahu exit.  Make left at the light and turn onto Keren HaYessod.  At the roundabout make a 180 degree turn and come back down Keren HaYessod.  Make a right onto Shalva Street.  the Motley's home will be on your left.  Street parking.

Be sure and bring drinks and snacks to share.
 

Please RSVP to Deliverance at techelt@yahoo.com.

 

Hare Roster - Sign up to set! The schedule is open through June!

 

16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen
6-Feb Paul

13-Feb GraveRobber

20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

13 Mar Quickie

20 Mar OnOne (TastyKakes), the Bachelorette Hash

27 Mar

3 Apr Deliverance

10 Apr Twin Peaks

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash New Years edition, Directions to Run 825

New Years Run:

The pack was small and took more wrong turns than right ones, including four laps in front of the Egyptian Ambassador's residence, which was not sketchy at all. Border Bitch, Desperate Housewife and HashHound Riley were attacked by a scruffy little terrier that wouldn't take no for an answer, but did finally take DH's shoe for one. Quickie disappeared at one of the holds, only to emerge a few blocks later with a Jerusalem Post under his arm. His defense? He's home alone with no wife and kiddies. Usually men buy things hidden behind the counter when in that situation, but our Quickie prefers wasting his money on the JPost.  The finish of the run was, as usual, into the sea. Everyone got out there, hash brats, hashers, hash hounds…  At the final circle the down down table collapsed, bursting the last San Miguel beer onto the ground. It was very, very sad.

Hare: Captain Caveman

FIW (First in Water): Fluffer

LIW: Twin Peaks

Dog Abuse: Desperate Housewife

Shopping: Quickie

Sock Twins: BB, TP

Team Terry Cloth: DH, Fluffer (his was even monogrammed!), Border Bitch, R2D2, C3P0, Twin Peaks

75 Runs: Desperate Housewife

 

Saturday Run:

We met out in god only knows where for some seriously shaggy hashing. The trail was filled with muddy embankments, prickly bushes and trees… and that was just to get to somewhere quiet to pee before and after the run! Aside from that, the hashers ran off into the hills, hopefully within the Green Line, trying not to fall down and helping Twin Peaks keep her mind of the gigantic swinging thing between her legs. I mean, it was all she could think about! She couldn't stop touching it and adjusting it… and by it, I mean the Hash Cash. At one point, the pack caught Quickie using his GPS (What the WHAT?!) to figure out where the hell we were. Didn't matter, he was still last.

 

Hares: CrockSucker, Fart Smella

FRB: Desperate Housewife

DFL: Quickie

Uni-ball: Twin Peaks

Wee, Wee, Wee, All the way home: Desperate Housewife, Border Bitch, Long Horny

GadgetGeek: Quickie

Late Cummers: Twin Peaks, Caveman, Quickie

Returnees: Long Horny, Fart Smella

Misnaming: CrockSucker (and Border Bitch, but she continues to dispute it. If a hasher misnames in the forest…)

New Shoes: Long Horny, who admitted as much during the run and then attempted to backtrack later.

Matchy Matchy:  Twin Peaks, Quickie

Milestones: Quickie, Captain Caveman

 
Directions to Run 825

The run will start and end at Chez Housewife-Bitch, 16 Levi Eshkol Kohav Hatsafon.  It is one block south of Shay Agnon on Levi Eshkol, near Sde Dov and Seminar HaKibutzim.  For you google map lovers, click here

There will be an On-On afterward - bring things to eat and things to eat with!  Although Desperate Housewife and Border Bitch are as hospitable as ever, they are living out of boxes.  So we will need everything from plastic cups and silverware to meat and salads.

Lost?  Call Fluffer  052-880-1111

Hare Roster - Let me know when you want to set!

16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen
6-Feb ???????????

13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 822 - Plus Info on the New Year Hashes!!!!!

Attention:  There are directions to TWO fabulous New Year's hashes this weekend.  You don't want to miss any of the fun, and you will need the running to recover from Sylvester.

Hash Trash

Run 822 was set at what has been called the single most disappointing and embarrassing tourist attraction in the city - the Kikar Atarium.  The run was less disappointing and embarrassing.  Several runners sported santa and elf hats to the befuddlement of park bench sitters everywhere.  The walkers briefly feared being mugged for a particularly nice santa hat, but fortunately the aggression stopped with an old man shouting, "Your hat, give it to me." 

The Scribe didn't run, but from tales told.  Fluffer wasn't bothered by a lack of markings, but decided to telepathically interpret the mind of the hashers and run several minutes down the wrong trail!!!  Don't throw stones though, I hear he was not without his followers.  Just because someone looks confident, doesn't mean you should stop looking for the trail.

In circle news, He's a Lesbian taught us some very naughty songs from the Benjamin Franklin hash in Philadelphia (go Eagles!).  We'll be looking up the words and teaching them shortly.

Regime Change Announcement:  Starting on January 16th there is a new Sheriff in town.  Your future RA - Deliverance - wants you to know that she will be Hashin' sans Compassion.  Runs start at 1500 (3:00), not 1501, not 1525.  She doesn't care if you got lost, or couldn't find your car.   She will leave without you, and you will have to find the trail on your own.  You have been warned.

Down Downs
Hare: Boston Creamed
FRB: Caveman
DFL: He's a Lesbian
Virgins: Lilliana, Rena, He's a Lesbian, Lisa, Jeff
Returnees: Jonathan, Deliverance, Crocksucker, Seaman
Santa Hat Hold up: Matterhorny
Trail Blazer: Fluffer
Late Flirting: He's a Lesbian
25 Runs: Fluffer

The NEW YEAR RUN! - Friday 14:00 (2 pm)
As every year on New Years Day The Holyland Hash House Harriers will meet at the Sharon Circle parking lot in Hertzeliya Pituach (where the arches are) at 14:00 (2 PM) for a short Hash run, a swim in the sea, and beer. Don't forget to bring a bathing suit, warm clothes, towels and sun tan lotion. Maybe after the run a Hasher from the area will invite us to their house to raid their bar.

Lost?  Caveman - 0522445644

Run 824 - Saturday 15:00 (3pm)

Location: Horvat Hanut, near Mata village, route 375.  Map here

From all directions:

Get on the no. 1 highway towards Jerusalem.

Continue until Har'el (HaKastel) interchange. Exit right towards Mevaseret Zion onto route 3965.

Take the 3rd exit at the second roundabout to route 395, and then the first exit in the next roundabout (towards Hadassah Hospital, route 386).

Keep driving (the road is winding) until you reach a T-intersection. Turn left, and then right in the next intersection.

Pass Mata village, and then arrive at the parking lot, about 1.5 Km later to your right.

Lost? so were we.

Crocsucker: 054-747-1914

Hare Roster - START THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU WANT TO SET!!!

9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen

13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 821, Directions to Run 822

Run 821 - the run of the Blob.

A select group of hashers ran run 821, heartened by the promise that three bags of flour had been used to mark the trail.  While at least one bag was devoted to the world's largest hash mark (On One!!!), indeed it was a well marked trail.  RA Border Bitch searched in vain for someone to provide trail criticism at the down down, hark!  What is this we hear?  Resounding praise?  The trail was a perfect length, there was shiggy, there was side walk, we sang something in Hebrew, there were parks, there were highways - it was a Hanukkah Hashing Miracle.  Just Susan got her name, you can call her - TwoBeerQueer (but we are working her up to 3 down downs a hash).

Alas, this was goodbye for FattyTatty, Cuba's loss is our gain, or is it the other way around?  Either way, we'll miss you, so piss off!!  Thanks, White Pointers for the On On send off!

OnOne (TastyKakes) would like to apologize for losing the list of down downs, so the following is from memory/I am making it up.  (Give me a break, it's my birthday and I was slightly drunk that hash)

Down Downs

Hares: White Pointers, BlingDong, Squishy
FRB: Twin Peaks
Pee Glee: Caveman, OnOne (TastyKakes)
Au Revoir: FattyTatty
Returnees: White Pointers, Squishy
MisNaming: Border Bitch
Walking????: Fluffer
Naming: TwoBeerQueer

Directions to Run 822

The starting point will be next to the Colosseum club at Kikar Atarim at the end of Ben Gurion Blvd. in Tel Aviv.
Map is attached.

Lost? Call Boston Creamed - 054 215 2653

Hare Roster

2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen

13-Feb GraveRobber
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com